In the last couple of years, I’ve been very focused on making each hour and day count. You can ask my friends. When they’ve offered to pray, I’ve said, “I want to know my purpose and not waste time!” Maybe there’s something about realizing that you’re well into the second half of life, and that your days are numbered.
In my earlier years, I’d robotically accomplish the next thing. That’s the reality when you’re trying to keep four young ones fed and happy!
Today’s different. There are so many dreams, ideas and opportunities clamoring for my attention. I’ve begun to see my life as a curation of sorts– learning to toss aside things that aren’t for me and attending to things that are.
curate: “to takecharge of or organize.
to pulltogether,siftthrough,andselectforpresentation.“
Eliza Jo & William
Imagine for a minute a beautiful, well curated, warmly lit art gallery such as The Smithsonian. On one wall do you find twenty renowned Renoir paintings? No, each incredible piece of art is encompassed by white space. We’re privileged to focus on one painting without distractions. The empty spaces help us to hone our focus.
Several years ago I helped a lady stage her house to sell. I remember her big smile and sweet disposition and how appreciative she was. Although she was a bit nervous about what I was doing with her belongings, she gave me full permission to shuffle things around. I quickly started removing stuff. Her home was clean and warm but crowded. Too crowded, I felt, for a positive presentation to prospective buyers. Some decorative pieces in the home needed to be culled and some curated. I was a bit uncomfortable as she watched me. “If you move that silk plant from the corner what will you put back in its place?”, she asked.
It was really difficult for her to imagine empty spaces —all the things had been in their assigned places for years. I tried to explain the concept of space and how it gives our eyes and minds rest and enables us to focus on a specific item. For instance, if there are multiple side tables, each one holding a large faux plant, we can be confused about what to look at and enjoy. There is also a practical benefit to having enough space in which to move around. To her credit, she allowed me to work my magic, accommodating me even while she didn’t fully understand. In the end, she agreed that her home was much more appealing, and it sold quickly.
The same kind of curation that takes place in staging a home to sell can also be helpful when arranging the homes we actually live in. The rearranging and culling can bring more comfort and peace.
Curation amounts to focus. The concept can be applied to a closet packed full of clothes. Pare down items to the few comfortable things I love and wear daily and I’ve just curated my collection. The less we own in any category, the more we enjoy. Less doesn’t amount to deprivation, but valuing what’s important and needful.
I once moved to another state with my oldest two children. I packed everything we needed in my station wagon and headed down the highway. We stayed with a family for a few months while looking for a more permanent home.
During those months, I remember thinking that there was nothing I missed. I could actually live without all my other earthly belongings. It was a surprising lesson that never left me.
“Be yourself! Everyone else is already taken.”
When my kids were young, it was important for me to be involved in their schools. I’d say no when asked to head up a large project or to serve as an officer on a board. I’m more of a helper when it comes to big projects. I also wanted my time to be spent around students; especially my children. I ended up doing what I loved and teachers seemed to really appreciate it—I read to their classes. Years later I’d run into former students and they’d comment on the books we read together. It was so nice the way it worked out. Some folks who were gifted administrators and leaders took on the roles I didn’t, and vice versa. You do you. And I’ll do me.
As I’ve spent time in prayer honestly asking what my life’s roles and priorities are, God’s faithfully shown me. I’m committed to the roles He’s called me to focus on in these years.
“No one else can play your part.”
It’s a good feeling to realize all the things you aren’t meant to be or do. I’m not a famous singer, competitive athlete, fashion blogger, shop owner, office worker, nurse, or celebrity. Those things are white space around me. My simple curated life includes being a wife, mother/grandmother, friend, writer, mentor/encourager, a “lover of hospitality” and a stager/organizer. When I discipline myself to focus and work within my spheres, I accomplish more and have less time to obsess over what others are doing. When I spend time comparing myself to women I admire, I always come up short.
What about you, friend? Any thoughts about your life?
“For every minute spent organizing, an hour is earned”. Benjamin Franklin
This week I devoted about four (very hot) hours to organizing our attic. As I had plenty of time to think, I recalled some of my clients and the things I’ve learned.
One lady I helped recently made quick decisions as I held up each item from her closet. I was so inspired by her lack of attachment that I spent time going through my closet again and letting go of even more things.
I thought of a project from last year. This client saved everything for a future potential use. We spent quite a few hours together and really connected. We laughed and joked, sometimes in a self-deprecating way. We were Lucy and Ethel. At one point I was literally backed into a closet. I attempted to pull all the discards and donations out, passing them to her as she sat on a wobbly table. While she examined contents of bags and boxes, I started to cry out, “I’m stuck in here, let me out!” It was approaching lunch time and I was, in her words, the benevolent dictator, and insisted that we not stop until everything in the walk-in closet had been evaluated. She was telling me that she had me just where she wanted me and I would not leave until the whole room was in order! I loved her good hearted nature and positive attitude amidst a very difficult season of life. I wanted to have a grateful and cheerful demeanor like hers.
As I worked in my attic, some ideas came to mind:
It’s okay to take time making decisions about some things. My dad, who passed away two months ago, was a gifted wood-worker. In the attic I found a large wooden trivet, inlaid with decorative tiles, that he’d carefully created. I realized, because of its weight and size, I’ll probably never use it. I gave myself permission to defer donating it, for now, as grief is still palpable.
An item that’s not loved and used can be tossed. I found the custom made table pad for our antique dining table which we have never used. “I might need it someday” is not a legitimate reason to keep stuff.
Let go of things if they were designed for a certain season of life. They may have already served their purpose. Bring closure by letting them go. With this in mind, I was able to donate a lot of framed pictures and canvases.
Cull things that can easily be replaced should you need them some day. I often say things to my clients like, “That old bed pillow can be replaced for a few bucks.” “You can donate your old sheets to the animal shelter. You deserve to sleep on nice sheets!” “Think of the space we’re creating by letting go!”
Some special items can be displayed as art. Living on the coast, I’ve helped several clients hang surfboards on their walls. This serves a dual purpose—art and a convenient storage system. Oftentimes people lack garage storage space. Guitars and other instruments can be mounted on the wall. Treasures such as classic record albums, vintage uniforms, flags or baby clothing can be framed and mounted,
For memorabilia limit yourself to one container per category. There is one client who has a two-car garage literally filled with boxes of clothing, sports equipment and school papers from her now adult children. They represent her favorite era—raising kids. I have encouraged her to fill one container with favorite items from each child. Removing the plethora of boxes is a big win for her safety and for space!
I’m honored to have assisted many intelligent, creative and capable people. Sorting through, organizing, and evaluating your own personal stuff takes courage and determination. Folks often need an accountability partner, another perspective, a person to keep them motivated, and ask hard questions.
I leave projects feeling tired, but accomplished. Clients feel lighter, inspired and excited about continuing to create order, beauty and warmth in their homes. We enjoy the process!
Homes are our largest financial investment and the one place we can be ourselves and relax with our loved ones. They are worth our investment of time and effort! What’s your next step in creating a place that truly nourishes and supports your family?
“Our life is frittered away by detail . . . simplify, simplify.” Henry David Thoreau
Raise your hand if you’re overwhelmed with too much stuff! I awoke this morning; my mind inundated with thoughts of extreme clutter. Recent projects for clients have me realizing how overwhelmed one can feel and how paralyzed and crazy one can become when surrounded by too much.
Interestingly, the stuff can be extremely high end. There is no price valuation in clutter. Expensive statuary, many oil paintings, fine china pieces, too many tchotches, all set in fancy displays. Chaos limits your ability to focus. You cannot find things so you buy duplicates. In such a plethora, one thing can’t be seen. Send me off looking for something in that environment and I literally can’t find it. My eyes are so full and my mind so confused with the mass of treasures. There’s always the fear that you will brush up against one of those expensive pieces and believe me I’ve been warned. You must gently tread around the maze.
Please people, if you are consumed with clutter, whether it’s last week’s newspaper or thousand dollar art; please remove some of it. Give yourself room to think, breathe and live. Don’t let your life be taken hostage by things.
This morning my mind diverted to some calming spaces.
Art galleries—they feature one piece of art in plenty of space so a patron can focus on the beauty of one item. You could argue that galleries have a lot of wasted space. I often tell clients that their eyes and brains need space in their homes to rest. You need to have a table or counter top that is clear of all stuff. Just so you can breathe.
Model homes—clearly these are make believe, but you have to admit they usually feel peaceful. I don’t know how many folks I’ve heard say, “I wish I could just walk away from it all and move to a new house.”
Nice hotel rooms— decorated in calming colors; they have only the essentials. There’s a reason writers often travel from home when focused on a project.
Here are four things you can do today that will inspire you to live with less clutter:
Wash and put away everything in the sink. Clean the sink well. For stainless steel, I like to use Bar Keepers Friend or a similar cleanser. Rinse well. For a nice shine, spray Windex on the sink; dry with a cloth.
Clear your entire kitchen counter. Clean per instructions for the specific surface. Finally, place everything back on the counter that you need on a daily basis. Find homes for the other stuff. Take a breath and enjoy the sight.
Make your bed–if you have a million decorative pillows edit them, leaving only a few.
Clear everything from your dining table—keeping only something pretty in the center.
Editing your home can be addictive. If you find you can’t stop, sort things by category. Keep only a reasonable number, e.g., mugs, water bottles, etc. You’ll be amazed at how much space you actually have!
“When every possession is special, none of them are.”
― Kathi Lipp
“The flowers of tomorrow are in the seeds of today…”
I first heard about setting goals when I was twenty-something. I loved the idea. I’m a dreamer. For several years I would, excitedly, as the new year dawned, write down all the things I wanted to accomplish and the self improvements I would make. My goals would always include losing weight and eating healthier. I may have stuck to my plan for a short while, but I don’t remember experiencing any lasting changes. What was so exhilarating on January first felt like failure on December thirty-first.
One year an awareness came to me. I realized I’d been randomly making lists without consulting God about what His ideas for me were. I began to pray and fast and ask God what He wanted me to accomplish. This changed everything. I realized His plans were much more manageable and doable. “His yoke is easy and His burden is light”, I thought.
I realized something else about goal setting. My “goals” were just fun ideas: lose weight, eat healthy, read my Bible, etc. There were no steps to reach goals, no completion dates and far too lofty expectations. A goal is the end toward which effort is directed. It’s something you’re trying to achieve. What brings success is a step by step process that results in the specific accomplishment we desire.
A few suggestions:
Ask the Holy Spirit to bring His purposes to your mind. “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10.) It helps me to think in terms of the various roles He has already assigned to me: wife, mom, business owner, mentor; and ask what is next in these areas.
Jot down the ideas that come to mind in stream of consciousness style, knowing you can hone in on the main elements later.
Try to end up with one or two goals in each area that you’re considering. If you make a long glorious list like I used to make, you’ll be frustrated.
Choose reasonable reachable goals. Drinking sixteen ounces of water each day when you usually drink none will be a win! Walking around the block or a set distance four times a week may be more doable than vaguely stating you’ll join a gym and work out six times a week. Joining a gym is great, just don’t set yourself up for failure.
Make goals that will challenge you but are attainable.
Create specifically written dated goals so you’ll know when they’ve been achieved. Keep track of daily and weekly progress. Set the frequency for your action steps and keep track of your progress.
Commit to the process more than the goal. Focus daily on your processes and habits that you’re developing. Your goal may be obtaining a master’s degree. Track the number of pages you need to read each day or the hours you study in order to cover all material by a certain date. If we focus only on the long-term goal it can seem obscure and impossible. It’s easier to track our daily processes.
Post your goals and review your daily plan often. It helps me to write action steps on my calendar.
Pause and consider why you’re setting goals. For instance, I’m eating healthy and exercising because I want to enjoy my granddaughter and future grandkids :). I read inspiring and challenging books daily (C. S. Lewis, the Bible, etc. ) because I want to grow in my faith and reflect Christ to those around me. I read books and listen to podcasts about minimalism, organizing and staging so I’ll benefit my clients.
I hope my ideas help! Here’s to a happy and productive 2017!
‘”Happy work is best done by the man who takes his long-term plans somewhat lightly and works from moment to moment “as to the Lord.” It is only our daily bread that we are encouraged to ask for. The present is the only time in which any duty can be done or any grace received.” The Weight of Glory, by C.S. Lewis
One of the most gratifying things I’ve done in the last thirteen years is to stage homes for the real estate market. A staged home has been proven to sell faster and at a higher price than one not staged. http://realestateagentu.com/11-incredible-home-staging-statistics/ During a consultation I point out details, good and bad, that the sellers have become accustomed to. We all need fresh perspective as we are blind to our own stuff.
The minute you decide to sell your home it becomes a house–a product to market to the public. In an effort to cut the emotional ties, I often ask clients to think of their house as a can of soup on a shelf. How can we make it stand out from all the others? Your goal is to make your house irresistible to buyers; to cause them to fall in love when they first lay eyes on it.
AREAS OF FOCUS:
EXTERIOR
Curb appeal is crucial! A buyer will drive right past your house if deterred by the first impression.
Power wash surfaces such as sidewalks, driveways and the house, depending on the structural material.
Lawn and shrubs should be trimmed and in good condition. Enhance the existing landscape material, adding fresh mulch if needed.
Remove empty pots and excessive lawn ornaments. No artificial plants please!
Make sure a wooden deck is in good repair and use sealer or stain as needed. Add a simple seating area using new or like new furnishings.
Porch and entry areas should be clean and simply decorated. Add a new neutral doormat and one large clay pot of healthy greenery or seasonal flowers.
Remember to clean light fixtures and porch ceiling!
Doors should be immaculate with fresh paint and nice looking hardware.
INTERIOR
Remember; the first fifteen seconds are the most critical in drawing a buyer into your house.
Paint walls neutral warm colors. Paint over your purple and red walls.
Clean like you’ve never cleaned before! Take whatever measures needed to eliminate pet odors.
Take special care in bathrooms. Don’t over decorate. White towels and clean surfaces are your best options.
Don’t try to impress buyers with your handiwork and DIY skills, but create a warm, simple and inviting space that they can imagine living in.
Remove personal photos and items.
Pack away or discard tired items and pillows and replace with a few updated decorative items.
Furniture should be arranged for conversation. Don’t line the walls.
Don’t fill each nook and cranny. Buyers want to see enough space for their stuff.
Clean out closets, drawers and cabinets. Discard or store (off site) a LOT of your stuff. Arrange storage spaces attractively and show off the potential storage areas.
You may need to lease a storage unit temporarily. The garage is not a good area to use for excessive storage. It is a good place to park a car and store appropriate things like bikes and tools. Remember to freshen garage walls with paint.
Open the shades and turn on lights when showing your house.
Stage any ambiguous spaces or rooms for specific purposes, such as a home office or craft area.
Be sure that everything is in excellent repair. If things are broken or in need of replacement the buyer may turn away and believe that the property is not cared for properly.
Call Tranquiliving for a detailed staging consultation for only $150!
“Complete all necessary home improvement projects before you show your house. Most buyers are not DIYers and will move on to the next property that is move-in ready.” Myra Freshwater, Tranquiliving
Once upon a time back in the 1980’s, there was a bright handsome young man who held a degree in chemical engineering. His career at a Paper Mill required involvement in various professional organizations that supported his job and company. For quite a few years he held offices in one particular group, and eventually moved up to the office of Chairman over a regional chapter in the national organization.
In those days he was rarely home. His beautiful* wife stayed home with the four children while he spent too many hours at work. When he travelled, his wife was tasked with packing his suitcase. It was especially important to make the best clothing choices for the conference in which he would give a speech to a very large group of professionals.
As he was dressing and prepping for the meeting he noticed he had no shoes. His wife, who happened to have joined him at this particular meeting, had forgotten them! Panic ensued. Without the benefit of cell phones, an urgent search was made for size elevens. Alas! A son of one of the members relinquished his dress shoes and saved the day! This dear husband (of mine) squeezed his feet into a nice pair of dress shoes that were almost large enough. I vowed to never travel again without a packing list! True story.
How to create a packing list
Simply write down everything you might need for a trip. Take your time and list every possible item that could be needed for all seasons and occasions. Then while you’re packing, just skip over the things that aren’t pertinent for a particular excursion. Leave nothing to memory and you’ll forego that nagging feeling– “Oh no, I forgot the …….”. It has eased my mind so much to use this list. I’ve also created lists for specific trips or experiences such as hiking. I typed my lists on Word documents and made several copies— keeping one in my suitcase and another with cosmetics.
For example:
cell phone
charger
laptop
charger
Kindle
charger
cosmetics: list every single item
toothbrush
toothpaste
PJs
running shoes
socks
Etc. – You get the idea!
You may have a much better memory than I do. But if you’re like me, there is huge relief in depending on a list rather than on my brain. Actually, that’s the beauty of lists. Having a permanent list rather than re-writing each time we pack saves a lot of time. When you’re hurriedly packing it’s hard to remember everything. Anything we can put to paper or the notes section of our phones will free our brains to focus on other important things.
Do you make such a list for packing? If so, I’d love to hear if it has been as helpful for you. What crucial things have you forgotten to pack?
Today I repaired 3 items of clothing. I mended. This is something to write home about. I have successfully, artfully, procrastinated this task for months. The whole process, which included locating a missing item, took approximately 23 minutes. The number of minutes I have burdened my mind with this task and the guilt of not doing it; those minutes are immeasurable. I mean, why in the world would I put off something so simple and doable? Especially when the reward is such a feeling of relief and accomplishment.
Perfectionists are skilled procrastinators. People like me tend to have a low tolerance for frustration and failure. We often wait for that elusive moment when the stage or workspace is set perfectly for the task at hand. It has been said that perfectionism isthe highest form of self-abuse because perfection is not achievable. Rather, we need to seek excellence. We perfectionists are often too concerned about expectations of others. Currently, I’m attempting to silence the thoughts about what others may think, and be true to my passion and calling. This is especially pertinent in the scary writing of blog posts!
There is a great essay on www.webstandardsherpa.com, by Denise Jacobs, entitled Breaking the Perfectionism – Procrastination Infinite Loop. She states some of the reasons we procrastinate.
complicated task anxiety
fear of imperfection
lack of self-confidence
priority confusion
lack of focus
indecision
boredom from minutae
I can relate to all of these points. For me, it all comes down to what do I really want. Is defaulting to Facebook or IG a good choice when I could be making progress on an important goal? Will I put aside the time-wasters, the mindless curiosities, and tackle the first step of a valuable piece of work? All it takes, I have found, is to take that first step. The hardest step! Setting up the sewing machine, sitting down with my laptop, or picking up the phone to call that client. That’s what it takes. The first step can magically move me into the heart of the project and I amazingly see progress where I doubted I would. For me, it’s a step of faith. Knowing that God will assist me to do what He has put in my heart to do.
Now, may I encourage you my friends? What is that one thing that looms in your mind, relentlessly interrupting your thoughts. Please, don’t put it off – begin today. It may take only minutes. If it’s a larger project, take the first step today. Then, divide the project into doable chunks of time and schedule those sessions! Put them on your calendar like an appointment you’d make with someone else. The satisfaction you will feel during the process and at the completion of the project will be so worth your investment. You can do it!
“Putting it off doesn’t make it go away. Getting it done does.’
“For every minute spent organizing, an hour is earned”. Benjamin Franklin
Raise your hand if you’re overwhelmed with too much stuff! I awoke this morning; my mind inundated with thoughts of extreme clutter. Recent projects for clients have me realizing how overwhelmed one can feel and how paralyzed and crazy one can become when surrounded by too much.
“The flowers of tomorrow are in the seeds of today…”
One of the most gratifying things I’ve done in the last thirteen years is to stage homes for the real estate market. A staged home has been proven to sell faster and at a higher price than one not staged. 
oday I repaired 3 items of clothing. I mended. This is something to write home about. I have successfully, artfully, procrastinated this task for months. The whole process, which included locating a missing item, took approximately 23 minutes. The number of minutes I have burdened my mind with this task and the guilt of not doing it; those minutes are immeasurable. I mean, why in the world would I put off something so simple and doable? Especially when the reward is such a feeling of relief and accomplishment.